// Stella//

We chose her and took her into our home Nov 3rd a little shy of 16 weeks old. She is now 22 weeks and getting so big. Im still in love with her and we are definitely the best of friends. Until she attacks my face.

- She loves biting anything and everything. 

- She’ll cry as soon as we come in the door until she is picked up and cuddled. 

- She loves sitting and watching me apply make up. Such a girl. 

- She is still so playful and loves sneaking up on us like we’re prey. It’s pretty funny to watch.

- Her favourite spot to sleep is on the windowsill in our bedroom, not sure why as its pretty cold up there. 

- She likes to sleep above my head on my second pillow during the early hours of the morning. As soon as I’m awake she is as playful as ever. 

- She loves running. Normally from room to room. 

- She and my husband have a love/hate relationship. 

- She has ruined the bottom of our christmas tree.

- Snuggling with her as she purrs is my favourite and I’m pretty sure hers too.

Such a beautiful feline.

// Playing dress up//

I need to post something about a huge love/passion of mine. Acting. This post has been a long time coming. I’m pretty sure I’ve avoided it because it seems overwhelming. Overwhelming in the sense that I want to be able to create this post and have it include everything I want it too. But when it comes to this particular subject, I don’t think it’s possible. There is just too much to say. ACTING is so much of my life that words simply cannot justify my love for it, my drive for it and the fact that I thrive on it. It fulfils me in so many ways. I gain so much from getting up on a stage and portraying someone else. I see and feel aspects of ME in that character that wouldn’t have come to light if I hadn’t divulged myself into that other person. It’s incredible. I get the opportunity to investigate and discover someone else’s world. It’s… beautiful. And exciting. And riveting. 

At the moment, I’m working on UVU’s production of The Crucible, directed by Dr. Petrie. I’m playing Abigail Williams and oh my life what a journey I’ve had with her already. We’ve only been rehearsing for a little more than a week and I can’t believe how much I’ve learned. Our director’s approach has made me think in ways I never thought. He see’s Abigail in me and therefore I see her too. He questions my impulses for her which have led me to find more motive in them. I come out of rehearsal feeling puzzled but in a good way. I’ve been loving every minute of it. I’m also learning so much from the other actors on stage. I get so much out of sitting and observing them and their character choices, the way they move their bodies to fit their character and the speech patterns and rhythms they use. It helps me know how to react to them onstage. It’s all about giving to one another. I always try to give more then I take. I get so much more out of it that way. 

There’s still so much I can say but right now I don’t know how to say it, so I wont. Playing dress up is my favourite dressing up. It allows me different eyes and a different soul. It allows relationships that wouldn’t always exist in the real world. How could I not want this as a career? 

- BOO

// The Start of the End//

Have you ever been in a place in your life where you’ve been carrying something for years and years and then sooner or later you start to recognize that its time to stop carrying that something? To let go of it forever? It’s like you’ve always known that there is only so much of the weight you can carry. You’ve always known that at some point in the future you’re not going to be able to hold on to that weight any more because it becomes too heavy. OR you’ve been carrying it for so long that you’ve become  comfortable with it that you don’t know life without it. You can’t imagine being apart from it. You don’t know how to let go of it. It’s become a part of you. You want it to leave on its own but you know it can’t do that. It’s got to be you that lets go. You and only you are the one with the power to say goodbye to that something you’ve been carrying. Thats right, that something you’ve been carrying. Not something thats just sitting there on its own, lightly like some bird on your shoulder. It’s far from something light. It is a boulder. It is heavy and dull and lifeless and cannot be moved without you. It has to be carried in order to survive. You are the carrier. 

You may not understand where I’m going with this or if this even makes sense at all. But I bet there are some of you who completely understand. You carry something everyday. Sometimes that something comes to the surface and sneaks up on you without you expecting it. It hits you so hard and thats when you realise, I need to be rid of this. I don’t want this in my life anymore. The weight is too much. But that leads you to the question, How? Where do I begin? What do I do to say goodbye? And because these questions become all too difficult to understand, to fathom… you shun them. You ignore them and let the weight sit there another day. Another week, month, year… and perhaps an eternity. 

I believe that it takes time. I believe that It takes understanding and healing and forgiveness. These afflictions that seem immovable inside of you with so much weight holding you down need to be lightened. This something you’ve been carrying needs to be understood and identified. It needs to be listened to and accepted for what it is. It needs to be taken to someone who has the power to embrace it and carry the weight for you. I believe there is someone who can do that. He is up there, ready and waiting to help. You may not understand this but hopefully one day you will. 

Say goodbye to your burden. Saying goodbye means you part with someone/something. You physically remove yourself. You bid your farewell. This parting takes time. But ultimately there is only one way of leaving it. Saying goodbye is the start of the end.

- boo